Is it normal to miss your booty call?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
