the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
