I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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