last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
