last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
