well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
