Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
