I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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