my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
