I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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