Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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