Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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