That's intense
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
