bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
