i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
