haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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