My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
