U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
