im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
