he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
be right there i have to get my cape
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
