We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
