I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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