we have pet lesbian snakes
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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