I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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