also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
