If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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