so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
