I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
