I have demons in me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Ladies don't puke and tell
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
