she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
