If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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