Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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