i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
