yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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