it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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