a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
