Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
