What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
