I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
