remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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