wat bout pragnant strippers??
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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