i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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