No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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