i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
