Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I FOUND THE LEGS
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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