Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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