She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
