I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
