you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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