Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
